Lovechilde (lovechilde) wrote,

I am an ableist. I will probably be one forever. It's the one 'ism' I can't seem to shake. I will always, probably forever, take as a given that a person who is over a certain age, has steady employment, and suffers from no impairments that I'm aware of, is capable of rational thought, of reaching logical conclusions, of basic deduction, awareness and empathy. If we arrange to meet, I will assume people are capable of arriving at the time and place agreed upon, or of letting someone know they'll be late. I will assume people can call a taxi is they find no other mode of transportation, and if they choose not to do it despite being able to afford it, I'll think less of them. If someone takes on some kind of task, I will assume that they know their own abilities and will take steps to perform the task, and let people know if they need help or find themselves unable to complete the task.

I will expect people over a certain age (say, 14) to be able to entertain themselves, and to be able to communicate thoughts and emotions clearly (this is asking a lot, and I'm setting myself up for constant disappointment, I know). I will assume that the average adult, unless they have some limitation that I'm aware of, is capable of basic self care, will not lock themselves out of their apartment or forget to feed the cat or leave their phone places or go on vacation without their meds, and can use Google and a map. I will always expect people to be thinking, intelligent creatures. I will be unforgiving of willful ignorance. I will assume that unless proven otherwise, or unless I'm outright told it's not so, people have the capability of defending themselves, or speaking up when something makes them uncomfortable or upset or harms them in some way (this too is way too high of an expectation. I'm an idealist, k?)

I will trust a person's report on their well-being, physical and emotional, for at least the first 25-30 times. I will trust that if someone has a chronic health situation going on, physical or mental or emotional, they are taking all the steps they are capable of, are willing to, and can afford to take to manage the situation. If they're doing all they can to manage the situation, I will do my level best not to assume all of the above. I will at some point fail. Hopefully, I'll fail in private and not where my failure can hurt someone.

Eventually, my aversion to people who can't be on time, can't take care of themselves, and can't be considerate of other people's feelings for no good reason except that they're sort of terrible at being adults will mean I distance myself from them, and I'll be left with only the more or less capable people as friends. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, if the past weekend is any indication.

This is an open note. If you're reading this we're most likely friends, and you're all keeping up the standards set above that you haven't pissed me off yet. Congrats.
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